One of my doctors informed me exercise is great for recovery of closed head injuries. I loved hearing that and was so happy to go back to the gym even if it is in a very limited way. I went back again today and I have to say it felt awesome. Sadly, I was huffing and puffing with very little exertion. It was like when I first started in the gym two years ago. I was very bummed to feel so out of shape. I guess it will take time, but I am glad to be back. Right now I am just doing 30 minutes or light cardio. I am going to aim for 5 days a week and just see how I feel. After going two days in a row now I don’t feel bad. The only thing I have to be careful of is dizziness. Both times I was very dizzy afterwards.

The weird part is I had my accident right in front of my gym. That means each time I go I have to drive past where I was hit. It doesn’t bother me, but I am definitely cautious when I approach the intersection. It really makes you think twice about crossing intersections without first looking to be sure the stopped traffic actually did stop.

I haven’t taken a photo in forever. I think I will wait until June 1st and take one then. I am hoping to tone up a bit more before I take my next photo. Not being in the gym for over a month makes me feel very flabby even though I have lost the weight I gained while I was in the hospital.

I can definitely relate to anyone who is just getting started in the gym because I feel like a newbie all over again. I can’t use weights yet, nor can I do any ab work, which really bugs me. My stomach is probably my weakest area right now, but I can’t do anything that provokes head movement like that.

At least I am back in the gym….

Well, the good news is that I am definitely feeling better.  My headaches are more manageable and my dizziness has definitely improved.  The bad news…I am losing my ability to hear anyone.  I was deaf in my left ear, but my right ear I could hear out of, but with an echo and some distortion.  Now the echo is at the same time as the first time I hear the sound, so I can’t make out what people say.  It is completely frustrating.  I am supposed to be getting better, not worse. There is more good news though.  My doctor said I can go back to the gym in a very limited fashion.  He said I would be fine to sit on a bike and pedal as long as I keep my head straight, otherwise I will get dizzy.  I can’t workout with weights or do anything else yet, but I am just happy to get any kind of exercise right now.   I have been eating as light as I can, so I don’t gain weight, but that just isn’t enough.  I feel gross not going to the gym and I am afraid of losing more muscle.  So at least I am making the first step back to exercise.   I go to another hearing specialist today and I am just praying he will have some answers for me.   

No I am not making this up.  I found the article on CNN and here is the link CNN Brown Fat Article.  The article originally came from Health Magazine.  

Here’s the first paragraph:”Brown adipose tissue (called brown fat) helps babies, young children, and other small mammals stay warm by burning calories when activated by low temperatures. Scientists have been skeptical that adults retain significant amounts of brown fat on their bodies. But the new research shows that many of us — perhaps even most — do.” 

Okay, that eliminates me.  I can’t handle temperatures under 75.  

And…if this theory were true then how come there are fat people in Alaska and skinny people in Florida? Interesting…does this mean people will start getting brown fat injections, or what?     

Hasn’t been a great week for me. I have been having a lot of problems with my head and ears. My hearing is getting worse instead of better and my headaches are wiping me out. I did go to a different neurologist today and he was much more pleasant than my previous one. He took the time to get my complete history and then listened to what I had to say before he examined me. The other doctor didn’t care what I had to say. He had the bedside manner of a mortician.

I have been very careful with my eating. I haven’t gained any weight, but it is a constant concern for me, which is why I was very touched by this comment I received:

Hey HHM,

I came accross your video on youtube, about your weight loss and healthy life style changes and eating habbitcs etc. I am 20 years old and have battled with health problems, which cause me to gain a lot of weight over the years. I have battled to feel healthy and be fit for years. I really want to start eating right and excersizing more, it is hard to do considering I feel sick mostly, because my immune system is weak, and don’t have much energy. But i appreciate your encouragment and you’re very smart and down to earth. I will start slowly by cutting out sugar and start slowly with 20 mins of cardio a day. Drink a lot of water… Its a good start, and it doesnt always have to be all - or nothing. ( which is usually how I am…) But I realize that I can’t live with my self unhealthy eating and laying back and dying. It’s too depressing, so hopefully I will get my mind of food with the subtle changes. Good luck to everyone on their journey to health!!!

Love, Peace & Music
xoxoxo
Sunset

Sunset,

First thank you for your kind words. Next, I have to applaud you for not giving up. I haven’t had to deal with health problems my entire life. That is quite a hurdle. I can’t even imagine if I had a long-term illness that kept me from being able to exercise. These last 4 weeks have been bad enough.

I have learned that doing a little bit is better than doing nothing in anything that we do. Just cutting back on sugar, drinking plenty of water and moderate exercise will make a difference for you. Just be careful you do not do anything without first consulting your doctor. You don’t want to injure your health.

Your post came on a day I really needed to read it. I have been feeling sorry for myself because I have been dealing with poor health for 4 weeks. I shouldn’t be whining because this is temporary and I am very fortunate that aside from the injuries sustained in the accident, I am very healthy.

Thank you for the reminder that I am a whiner and need to get over myself. LOL! Keep us posted on your progress. I am rooting for you!

Okay, it has been over three weeks now and I feel gross.  I miss the gym so much and feel like a lazy blob.  If it weren’t such a risk I would just start working out now.  I know I wouldn’t last 5 minutes because I get too dizzy and my head throbs if I even bend over to pick something up.  It is very frustrating not to be able to get back to my life.

I am wondering if it would hurt to at least sit in a chair and use very light weights to do arm and leg raises.  I can’t imagine that would bother me too much.  I may give it a try.  I have been walking, but I walk so slow I don’t think it does a bit of good.  If I walk too long I get dizzy and have to sit anyway.  

The joys of recovery!   

Did I mention how much car accidents suck? 

I’ve never been a big dog lover. I mean I have always liked dogs, but the thought of hair, feces, drooling and everything else that goes along with having an animal in your home has really deterred me from getting a dog in my adult life. I did try to be a cat owner and failed miserably. Each time the cat would spray all over my house, so I found new homes. I just couldn’t deal with that. My son hasn’t ever let me forget it. He guilts me over it to this day.

Last year I made the mistake of promising my youngest a dog. He wanted an English Bulldog because there was on named Spike on the move Game Plan. He finally wore me down and I promised him a dog. I even found on in the paper. It was a baby American Bulldog. There was a litter and I talked my sister into getting one of them also. I thought it would be so cool for the cousins have dogs that were brother and sister. We even planned to have family get togethers with the dogs.

The dogs were still babies so we had to wait 6 weeks before we could get them. We paid our deposits and waited. My sister went over to see the puppies a few times. I never seemed to be able to get there. She fell in love with them. I was excited and couldn’t wait to have my little boy. It wasn’t until about 2 weeks before we were supposed to get these dogs that I started to have anxiety. I started to think about having to potty train these dogs and about them peeing on my carpet or anything else. Then I read about the chewing and training. I began to get physical ill when I thought about getting a pet. Sad, huh.

I expressed my feelings to my sister and she laughed at first. After a while she realized I was very serious and told me if it was that big a deal to me then I should back out. I felt bad because my son was so excited to have this dog, even thought it wasn’t going to be “Spike” from Game Plan, but the fact that he never saw the dog helped me. I was able to bribe him with a new Playstation in his room to forget this dog. I backed out and just forgot my deposit.

I told my son we would get another dog when we could find an older dog that was already potty trained. I explained to him what life would be like cleaning up after a puppy and he agreed he would prefer an older dog also. He held this over my head within a month of getting the new video game system. About 8 months went by before I finally had enough. I stopped at the pound and let him pick out a day. He ended up with a long-haired weiner dog. The people at the pound told us he was 8 months old and that they thought he was potty trained.

The dog was named Oscar and all was well. He had been severely abused and was afraid of his own shadow. He spent most of the time just sleeping. He was potty trained, which was a big relief. The only downside was he had separation anxiety. He would follow you into the bathroom and wait outside the shower door while you shower. He was so easy to care for and didn’t really do anything.

At this point, I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t wanted a pet sooner. Oscar is so sweet and easy to care for.

A few weeks before my birthday I received a gift. Guess what it was? A puppy!

I thought how great is this. Now Oscar has a sister. He won’t be alone and we won’t have to worry about the separation anxiety. All was great until the first night. The puppy cried for its mom and had to go the bathroom almost every 30 minutes. I felt like a new mom again. By the second day I was ready to send the puppy back. The only saving grace was she totally cute. She weighed all of 4 pounds and was just too adorable to get rid of.

Each day got a little bit easier. She is really a big pain in the butt and still has accidents in the house sometimes, which drives me nuts, but I love her to death. Oscar is still as sweet as can be even though she terrorizes him. He is much smarter than she is and gets her back though. He will hide her bones and put stuff up on the couch that he doesn’t have any interest in just because she can’t get up there. They drive one another crazy, but would be lost without the other.

Worst of all though, I would be lost without them. They give unconditional love and are just happy that you are there. I kick myself for not getting dogs sooner and wouldn’t imagine ever getting rid of them. They are as important to me as my kids are.

Two years ago today I made a commitment to myself to change my life.   It was actually April 1st 2007 that I wrote an entry in my journal, but I didn’t begin until the next day. 

Today is April 1st. It will be my last day of bad eating. I am going to make a commitment to myself to stop eating bad foods. I will not eat sugar, white flour or any other crap that is bad for my body. I am making this a lifetime commitment, not a “diet.” I will not cheat ever again. I am committed to living a healthy lifestyle, which will include excercising daily.

When I wrote this I had no real idea that I could follow it through. I had a lot of hope, but not a lot of will power. I think a lot of why I did stick through this is because was about living a healthy life and not getting thin enough to fit into an outfit for a special event. I don’t think I would have been able to do it if it was just about losing weight to be thinner. I was very worried about the cancer rate in my family and that is what sparked me to start looking into organics and living a healthier lifestyle.

I have to say here I am 2 years later still eating a healthy, organic diet and (other than my car accident) still exercising. I have lost over 100 pounds and feel better than I ever have in my life. I plan to continue this journey and lose another 20 pounds or so over the next year. First, though, I need to get healthy. That is my main priority right now.

I wanted to post a before and after photo today, but with my accident I am going to hold off for a few weeks. I might do it on May 2nd instead. Not sure yet. It will depend on my health and if I feel I look good enough by then. Right now I am very self conscious because I am not able to exercise.

At any rate, I am very proud of my accomplishment and I am very thankful to all the people who have followed my goals and supported me over the past two year. I have found some great support online, which is just amazing in itself. I hope my story can inspire others.

I went to have a MRI done today at the hospital.  First of all, why do they give you an appointment at one time only to have to go there to sit and wait an additional two hours for the appointment. I think they should text you 20 minutes prior to the time they are really going to be ready for you, so you can get your butt over to the hospital.

Next, I get in the tube and she tells me not to move. No biggie, but it is for 40 minutes. That is a long damn time to stay still. It got worse when she explained to me that I was going to listen to loud knocking noises the entire time. Duh…the reason I am going for this MRI is because I have sound sensitivity in my ear. Is this some torture treatment or something?

Now I have this huge headache. Big surprise right? Gotta love medical technology.

I haven’t been hungry all day until now. Here is it late and I don’t really need to be eating anything and this is when I feel famished. Figures right? I am going to try to eat some tuna and leave it at that. I don’t want to eat a bunch this late.

I am hoping to walk a bit tonight, but my head is already really bad, so I doubt that will actually happen. It doesn’t help that it is windy enough out to blow Dorothy back to Kansas.

Okay enough ranting for now, I need some rest.

Amy said,

Excellent advice. I keep thinking I have to completely change my habits starting Monday,or the first of the month, etc. Never happens.Saw the cover of People magazine today.Valerie Bertnelli in a bikini at age 49. (Botoxed to the hilt, which I don’t find attractive.)

I look at her picture and I think, I’ll never be able to achieve that because I can’t stay on any diet longer than a week! But small changes, I can manage. I am not so apt to rebel.

I hope your doctor’s visit went well. It really brings tears to my eyes, what you are going through. You are one tough, healthy hot mama! 

Amy if you expect too much of yourself in one step, you are setting yourself up for failure. If you drink soda, start with knocking that out of your diet. Once you have gone a couple weeks, choose another sugary/fattening food to eliminate. Each time you eliminate something just be sure you do not add something equally unhealthy to your diet.

After a couple of weeks you will find that you will have lost a couple of pounds and you will feel better. This will entice you to want to get into more. The bigger the sacrifice you make, the harder it is to stick to it. You can do it!

I would bet Valerie has had more than botox, but that’s another story.  They tried to say there isn’t much airbrushing.  How you can lose all that weight and not sport one stretch mark is beyond me.  I do think she looks great, just wish they were more realistic about her success.  It gives people false hopes.  No matter how much a 49 year old diets, they will still have extra skin and stretch marks.  The body does not bounce back like that at her age.  That being said, I do find her story inspiring.  I think it is great she was so determined to take back her health.  It goes to show you, it doesn’t matter your age, you can make positive life changes.

 My doctor’s appointment did not go as good as I had hoped. I was hoping for some relief from the noise problem I have. I did get a diagnoses, which I guess is a step in the right direction. I have what is known as hyperacusis. It is supposed to be a pretty rare problem and affects some head injury patients. The doctor explained it as an inability to handle sound. My ear is now hyper sensitive, so I hear noises most people don’t notice, but the problem is I can’t shut the noise off. It is like someone constantly yelling in your ear. It makes it very difficult to talk when you hear so much noise. It is also difficult to concentrate on what others are saying. Using the internet is definitely the easiest form of communication for me. I can take my time and think out what I want to say while the noise is going in my ear.

The doctor thinks I may have tinnitus in my other ear because I cannot hear anything out of it, except a whistle noise sometimes.

He also told me he is concerned that I am having so much pain still and set me up for a bunch more tests. I don’t care what I have to go through if they can fix the problem. I told him I would rather be deaf the rest of my life than to have this noise going on all the time. It is way worse than not being able to hear at all.

Thank you for your thoughts and concern. I will let you know what happens.

I think it was just yesterday I commented on how I haven’t been very hungry lately.  Today I woke up the first time at 6 am thinking about food.  I was very dizzy so I didn’t get out of bed.  I actually tried to get out of bed like 4 times before I finally got up at 10:40.  

I didn’t want to chance walking around until I knew I wouldn’t fall on my butt.  I was home alone and didn’t want to be a commercial for that emergency necklace thing.  

My stomach was growling for food from the instant I opened my eyes, maybe even before.  I ate and still wanted more food.  I waited 30 minutes to see if I was really still hungry.  Unfortunately, I was, so I ate some more.

 I have thought of food non-stop since then.

 I wonder what it is that makes you starve one day and not even think about eating the next.  I seriously want to eat everything in sight.  Even foods that I don’t even usually like sound good. My son has a PB&J sandwich in the fridge and I am jonesing for it. Weird huh?

I know the hardest part of any day for me is between 3-5 pm.  I am going to be especially careful not to go nuts during that time.

 Luckily, I have a doctor’s appointment at 3:45 today.  Maybe that will keep my mind off eating for a while.   I plan to take a couple bottles of water to nurse off while I wait to see the doctor. We will see if that keeps me from stealing someone’s food.

I did take my first walk last night. It was very short and I almost walked slow enough to be going backwards. I just wanted to get out there and get started. I was winded within a minute and dizzy the entire time. It reminded me of what it was like for me before I started to lose weight. I remember the first day I went out to take a walk and I was tired before the end of the driveway. Yes, I was THAT out of shape. I am definitely proof anyone can lose weight and get in shape.

I guess I just need to look at this as a double journey. First getting my health back and getting my butt back in shape again. Oh and still lose some additional weight. I could definitely lose another 20 pounds. Right now the goal is to walk each day as far as I can without getting so dizzy that I injure myself. Once I get to a point that I am not so dizzy I will walk twice a day. Nothing fast, but just enough that I am burning a few calories while not risking my recovery.

I have to say, if you are reading this and you have not started a workout plan or weight loss plan, but really want to, you should follow with me. I have to take it super slow, so you can’t possibly tell me you can’t keep up. You can start with just cutting sugar out of your diet and walking each evening for 15-20 minutes.

I remember thinking small steps would not make a difference in my weight loss, but I have to say it was all the small steps that made the biggest difference for me because when I took big steps I ended up sabotaging myself. One small change per a week will work way better than trying to uproot your life in a day. You don’t even realize the small changes and before you know it you will see progress, which motivates you to do more.

I say this because it worked for me with my weight loss. I now need to use it in my recovery. Enough ranting for now. Have a good afternoon and start walking!